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Mar 24, 2011

So I was thinking

So.... I have been thinking about what attracts us to people and what equally repels us?
I have found that I am utterly attracted to the people I have called my friends and even some I have called Lovers, and then over the graciousness of time, after the honest truth about all of their characters has been revealed I become extremely allergic to some. What all can you REALLY accept about people? How many of their dysfunctional "moments" or "episodes" that stain your life do you endure before you are faced with the relentless fact that they are "not right for you" ?? How, when you've become accustomed to accepting and loving someone, do you make the decision that they can no longer occupy the same space in your life? I've come to see that there are two people specifically (that I truly love and care very deeply for) that I do not enjoy the way I used to, and the relationships are becoming "work" when it never used to be. I understand growing pains and the reality of the shifting of life and one's priorities. However, it has become extremely clear that these persons are entering into the "damaging zone" - that place that tells me to "run for your life, this person is too much work". It saddens me, because unlike emotionally immature teenagers, I am not the sort to be reactive and "delete them" from Facebook, or BBM, nor am I the sort that will "block" or "un follow" them on twitter. I don't know how to throw nasty comments their way and to lash out in a fashion that is truly the opposite of actually communicating. All I know what to do is; sort out how I feel about them emotionally, and to make a decision (that does not involve gossiping to everyone I need to "take my side") as to what is left to salvage from this relationship with this person I care about but no longer require...
I think it takes a fearless and brave individual to "say goodbye". I don't know that I am this individual, but I am someone who knows when distance is Necessary. I am someone that knows when they have had enough and I trust my instincts. I am also someone who operates with a great deal of compassion.

1 comment:

  1. wow...thts deep kinda goin thru the same thing with a friend/babydaddy...u ask urself how much r u willn 2 take n put up with n whn is enuff enuff! i may need ur opinion abt some things, i kno u cant go by wut othr ppl think, i gt tht, but sumtimes sum1 can say sumthn tht puts ur thoughts n2 perspective abt things tht ur jus rackn ur brain with...n i think u jus did tht with this comment or u can!