TUTORIAL #3 "How To Make Things Simple"

Many times in life we spend several moments humming and hawing over how we should address something, or manage something, or what decision or direction to move towards. In essence we can make almost everything extremely complicated quite easily. Here is a wonderful tutorial on How To Make Things Simple. Its much easier than you can imagine. There are a few steps I have created as tools to help you divide and concur.

1. HOW DO YOU REALLY FEEL? - in order to make things "simple" the first step is to decide how you really feel about them (quite simply). Pay close attention to your natural/authentic emotions and thoughts; they are either negative or positive. If too many negatives come to mind and you feel a bit wretched, then you can be sure that perhaps this person, place or things is NOT for you. If you initially feel quite calm and good or even excited about a person, place, or thing then its quite possible that it is something positive for you. Your intuition (that inner voice you hear), some even call this a "gut feeling"- needs far more attention than you are obviously giving it. How you originally feel and what you authentically feel about something is the foundation for your decision making. Its when we allow our minds to convince us otherwise that we become confused and manipulated. Stick to your GUT!

2. PUT IT INTO SIMPLE WORDS - Once you have identified your position regarding a specific person place or thing you must find the simplest way to convey your truth. Stop being afraid to disagree or have a difference of opinion. Define who you are. When you are clear about what you feel, all thats left to do is to convey it. "I disagree, I think it is a terrible idea for us to go because of X,Y, and Z" or "I think you are a fantastic person but I am not ready to date you because of X, Y, and Z" or even " I am no longer going to be able to be a part of ______ because  of X, Y, and Z"(although I have given examples of when something doesn't feel right, the same principals apply when the statement is a positive one). The fact of that is matters not how well someone accepts your truth (you can not be responsible for their reactions), what matters is whether or not you are someone that can claim confidence in the position you take about a person, place or thing. Be respectful, but be honest.

3. TAKE A DEEP BREATH - You've done the hard part; you've identified how you feel about the person or matter in question, you have articulated this and now there is nothing really left. There is no argument to be had and no drama that needs to ensue in your lovely mind or heart. If the other party tries to rope you into an argument (because they disagree) you simply (and calmly) listen until they are finished and repeat what you said at first (as they obviously are having a hard time accepting). You can even say "I'm sorry that you are having a hard time accepting this" but ultimately when you are an adult existing with other adults there are simply going to be several difference between you.... and thats okay. Keep it simple by identifying how you REALLY feel about a thing and then just Get On With It!